A Gasp For Air

I took a gasp for air before I felt it surround me, the tiny particles covering every

inch of me. My muscles relax as I let go, not moving anything as i drift.

My mind and body drifting as one, I felt as if no one could hurt me

Not a single thing could break this moment, until i felt the burning in my lungs,

The burning becoming a sign of desperation, the need of oxygen getting heavier

That’s when I did it, propelling myself up, not matter how badly I wanted to continue

To stay in my relaxing state of mind,

I came up, gasping for air as relief filled my body.

This was the feeling I loved, the relief after all the pain

But it’s hard to push through the pain and get to the relief

You just have to dive in and pray for the strength to propel yourself up

And take a breathe of air.

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God has spoken

God has spoken to me

Many times before

Whether it was in a dream or the feeling of his presence

I know that when all else fails,

He is there

I feel it

Not only in myself

But in my heart

Only time will tell

Until everyone else knows

What it is like to understand God.

Broken

She felt it

The breaking

Piece by piece, slowly falling

She was heart broken

But no one cared

Not even the people she thought she could trust

Her mind, body and spirit withering

As if a flower that has just been plucked off the bush

Slowly she fell, not one word spoken

Just her and her shattered heart

With no thoughts behind it

Just her and her withering heart

Lost

I tried

I tried to look for a light

I tried to find an exit

I tried to find my way out of the darkness

I tried reaching for help

but i was lost

with no way out

trapped in dispair

i couldn’t think

i couldn’t breathe

 i didn’t understand

what had i done to deserve this?

Like Rain, they fell

Like Rain

thats what my tears felt like

constantly falling,

as each drop fell

i slowly lost hope

hope of a whole heart,

hope of a better life

i felt broken

like a ceramic doll

that fell to the floor crashing

going, going, going… gone

shattering all hopes, dreams

with a snap of a finger things changed

this time for the worse

but i have to keep going,

no matter how rainy it gets

i’ll just bring an umbrella.

Drowning

Drowning

With no hand to grasp for help

I don’t get it,

Perfect people don’t exist

So why do we expect it?

No one is perfect

Not the person sitting in front of me

Nor the person next to me

I feel like i’m drowning

Drowning in expectations

And drowning in insecurities

Drowning, Drowning, Drowning

Three

My teacher told me to write a Haiku about the number three, I thought it was pretty dumb, so I made my complaints toward the poem into a Haiku.

This poem is dumb

Writing about three is dumb

What are we doing

I don’t like Haiku

Three is a weird odd number

What even is three?

Three is really weird

Three is hard to write about

I do not like three

My Favorite Nights

100 Words (style)

These are my favorite nights, when I can sit by the crackling fireplace and drink a nice cup of hot tea. My soft blankets draped over me so lightly as I hear the sound of soothing music in the background. When I look out the window, I see the cold , fluffy snowflakes falling from the dark sky freely, covering the wet ground and the soaring trees. The strong smell of smoke from the fire fills the room like a candle, creating the feeling that I missed so much. The sounds from all around me captivate me, this beautiful moment is one of those that you cherish forever. Even though it is dark outside, you can see the glimmer of lights  that are draped across roofs, bushes and the grass. Through the small opening of the window, wind comes through making the sound of a whistle. I can feel the chill on my arms. It is freezing outside. `The light wind causes the fire to flicker, making the entire room light and then dark. The warm room has a  gentle, homely feeling. I love cold nights like this .Oh the sweet feeling of Christmas makes my heart swell. I can’t even remember how many Christmas’ I spent here as a kid. Many happy years we spent here in this big house eating grandmas delicious Christmas cookies on Christmas morning. The whole house smelled like vanilla and sweet chocolate. She baked them early morning .They were fresh, warm and they melted in our mouth. I have never could duplicate her wonderful recipe . Maybe because they always tasted better when she was around. I loved when there were so many of us Christmas morning. But now it is just me, the cats and the sweet memories.

Away I Go

Away I go

Back home

Catapulting across the water

Distracted by the beauty

Everything I love is in this moment

Finally the wind builds up

Going at least 15 knots

Helping me glide along

In no rush

Just me and my boat

Keeping up the pace

Letting myself run free

My life feels perfect

No one could mess up this moment

Open water with me gliding across

Pictures couldn’t capture it

Quiet surrounds me

Relaxing in my boat

So far from home

This I will miss

Until next time

Vicariously riding

Waiting for the sun to set

Xerothermic is what some people would be

You can watch me from shore

Zipping across the water

Silent

I stood in the silence of the night

With my silent thoughts

I was numb

I couldn’t feel anything except fear,

Fear of the silent night

Fear of my silent thoughts

This is what made me numb

The fear

So I stayed silent

In the darkness of the numbing night

To ensure that the silence was not broken

My thoughts turning to nothing

As if fading into dust

As I stood in the silence of the night